


you’re everything to me (and maybe i am to you)

by flintxwood



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 23:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flintxwood/pseuds/flintxwood
Summary: “Okay, first question,” Alecto said, a quill in her hand. “Dean Thomas is your best friend, true or false?”





	you’re everything to me (and maybe i am to you)

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by link: [findingfandomwithafangirl](http://findingfandomwithafangirl.tumblr.com/.com) [post](http://findingfandomwithafangirl.tumblr.com/post/161985352206/)

Seamus had never been in the Head Master’s office before. Something told him it had change once the death eaters took over. 

It was freezing, and the chair he was made to sit in was uncomfortable. Maybe he had to do with the way he was sitting, his body was rigid and stiff. The room was no different from the rest of Hogwarts. Anything that resembled the wonder of Hogwarts was gone. 

Most chilling, the Carrows were staring at him. He wasn’t sure why, even though it was outside of his personality he’d been compliant. Like most students. No one had made any attempts to rebel, if anything for their own safety. 

“So,” Alecto asked, her voice low. “You were quite close to that mudblood, Dean Thomas. Correct?” 

His winced at the slur, a lump forming in his throat. He was furious Dean chose to run, knowing the dangers he’d put himself in. But he knew he was no better if he stayed. Seamus was ready to beg his parents to let him hide with them but Dean didn’t want to put them in danger. So the asshole left him.

But he didn’t hate him. He hated the situation they were in. 

“He’s not saying anything,” Amycus said in a dark tone, standing beside her..

He didn’t want to say anything. He wasn’t going to talk about Dean, the most important person in the world, with these people. 

“Looks like he needs some help,” Alecto said and from a draw pulled out a black liquid. 

Veritaserum. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat as Alecto passed it to Amycus. He stepped forward towards him. 

“Open up,” he said. Seamus stared at him, keeping his mouth firmly shut. “Let me rephrase that, open up or I’ll Crucio you.”

He complied this time, loosening his lips enough for Amycus to pour the liquid down his throat. It burned going down and tasted absolutely disgusting.

“Okay, first question,” Alecto said, a quill in her hand. “Dean Thomas is your best friend, true or false?”

The effects of the potion seemed to activate quickly because a squeak of “true” came from his lips. 

Dean and him stuck together after they were sorted. He couldn’t explain it; they were just drawn towards each other. Like two puzzle pieces. Like two halves finally becoming one. Like two souls that had been looking for each other finally mixing together. 

His best friend. His soulmate. His entire world.

Not that he’d tell the Carrows any of that.

Alecto seemed to tick a box at his response before continuing. 

“Now, since he is your best friend I’m sure you would do anything for him. Especially for his own safety.”

He nodded. He could feel the tears start to build up. These people didn’t care about Dean’s safety, it was the last thing they cared about. They wanted him under their control. He was starting to regret not just taking the Crucio curse. Dean’s safety would’ve been worth that. 

“So,” Amycus said. “I’m sure that means you want him to be safe.” He stepped forward and bent down, looking at him in the eye. “True or false, you know where he is?”

He shook his head. He had no clue where Dean had gone. If he was safe. If he was hurt. He didn’t know any of this. For all he knew Dean was dead in some forest where no one could find him. 

“You seem to care a lot about him,” Alecto said. “Especially for both being boys.” 

Seamus suddenly felt small in his seat. Being stared down wasn’t helping but he wanted to be swallowed up by the floor. No, they weren’t going there. There was no way they could know. 

“You love him,” Amycus said, still in his face. “Not as your best friend. Not as family. A different kind of love, correct?”

The tears started to run down his face. He refused to speak the truth. They didn’t deserve to know. They didn’t deserve to know how much he loved Dean. That was for himself, not other people. 

But the effects of the potion made him nod. Nod as his nose ran, as he could barely see through his tears. He was too scared to move, to wiped his face. Even though the tears stung. 

Amycus straightened up, grinning down at him. “Interesting,” he said. He turned to his sister. “Right Alecto?”

“Quite interesting,” she agreed. “Now, Finnigan, I’m curious; has Dean Thomas ever broken your heart? Him not being here surely did that.” 

Dean had broken his heart before. So many times. And he didn’t even know it most of the time. 

The first time was the Yule Ball. Seamus was still grappling with how he felt for boys but when trying to think of a date to the Ball, the only person who came to mind was Dean. But there were many contributing factors to why they couldn’t. He felt there was no way his feelings were requited. And the Professors seemed to imply he could only go with a girl. So, when Dean went with Hannah, he asked Lavender as the first chip found its way into his heart.

The second time was when Dean called him an idiot for not listening to Harry of You-Know-Who’s return. Told him there was no reason Harry would lie. Seamus was mad he didn’t seem to care about Harry insulting his mother. He knew Dean didn’t have to agree with everything he thought but he hoped he would stay with him, not run off to Dumbledore’s army and leaving him alone in the dorm rooms. Even after reading the Quibbler article and joining the rest of his classmates, it still hurt Dean seemed almost dismissive of his feelings. 

The third was when Dean started to date Ginny. He shouldn’t have been upset, he knew that. But seeing Dean hold her hand and hold her and kiss her when he so desperately wanted to be in her position hurt him more than he could ever explain. It was like someone had put a Crucio curse on him but his heart was the only thing that felt it. He hid it around Dean. He didn’t want to burden him with his feelings. He didn’t want to make him feel guilty. Dean’s friendship was something, not enough but something. And Dean loved him as his best friend, the feelings that should’ve been felt to them. Two souls as one. Even if it’s only platonic. But it still hurt when he saw him with someone who wasn’t him. 

The fourth time was when Dean left him. 

He slowly nodded at the siblings. 

“You must hate him for that, leaving you all alone and heartbroken without him here,” Alecto said, her voice softy but he heard the fake sympathy in her voice. 

He shook his head quickly, squeaking out “no.” He could never hate Dean for anything. He loved him with everything in him. Nothing Dean could do would ever make any piece of him hate him.

“I’m sure you wish he was here,” Alecto said, “To make sure you’re okay, I’m sure you want to know he is.” She had a cruel smile, clearly enjoying the sight of him squirming in his seat. 

He shook his head. He didn’t want Dean here. Dean being here would mean being sent to Azkaban, or worse. 

He didn’t want to imagine anything worse than that.

“Tell me Finnigan,” Amycus said, his tone cool and calm. “Does he love you back? Not as a friend, not as family. The way you feel about him.”

He stayed silent. His mind went to the last time he saw him. 

Dean had taken the risk of seeing him one last time. To say goodbye. Because there was no way to know if that would be the last time they would ever see each other. 

Dean hugged him, maybe even embraced. He held him as Seamus burst into tears, let him cry into his chest. Let him become a sobbing mess when he could only rub his back. 

In that moment Seamus was caught in a difficult decision. He couldn’t decide whether or not to confess his feelings. Whether or not to speak the feelings he’d held inside him for years. Feelings he’d kept locked up.

But they had spilt from his lips in his sobbing state. He never saw Dean’s reaction because he had drawn their lips together, cupping his face as he bent down to press them together. He realised Dean had been crying too in that moment. 

When Dean drew away, he pulled him into another hug and mumbled into his ear “I’m sorry” and stepped away and left. Leaving him in a sobbing mess.

He offered no answer. He just sat there. He didn’t know. Dean had kissed him but he hadn’t said anything back. Just an apology before leaving him to fend for himself.

His absence of an answer didn’t seem to satisfy their pair, but realised they weren’t going to get one. Because he didn’t have an answer. 

He didn’t know if the most important person to him loved him back.


End file.
